Wired for Creativity

What it means to work with ADHD

In 2020, we went into lockdown and for me, it became a transformative journey in self-discovery. It began with an expectation of increased productivity in isolation. I thought, this will be so great! Maybe I could get a lot of my work done in a compressed amount of time so that I could start making more art. After all, I’ve always felt a lot of joy doing personal work, and it makes me more open to experimentation in my professional work as well.

Lockdown forced a pause—an introspective moment that unraveled the tightly wound threads of my daily routines. It revealed coping mechanisms that, unbeknownst to me, masked an underlying struggle. I’d always operated well in a pressure-cooker-like environment, doing work in sprints my whole life. When I had an assignment due in college, I would let the demand build until it was too late to ignore. Then, I would complete it in a blind rush. Most of the time, I was pulling A’s doing this. At this point, I’ve been doing it long enough that it’s a system. If you have ADHD, you already recognize all the red flags, especially “I have a system.”

Photo by Compare Fibre on Unsplash

I was one of the unlucky ones to get sick right away during the pandemic and my window of tolerance for stress became a lot smaller. I struggled with work/life demands, anxiety, sleep, and emotional regulation. The worst symptom was I couldn’t control my thoughts in a way that allowed me to task switch easily. I had a complex set of routines and rituals to trick my brain into doing things.

ADHD is not just a matter of attention, but a complex interplay of networks in the brain that dictate how we navigate focus and distraction. When we're awake, our brains constantly process information both consciously and subconsciously. The Default Mode Network or DMN in the brain activates when we're not focused on a specific task. In some cases, people with ADHD have trouble focusing their attention on tasks because their DMN is overactive compared to people without ADHD. I wasn’t in control of the switch that would take me from DMN to TPN which is the Task Positive Network. Plainly, I couldn’t consciously stop thoughts in order to be able to do a task like painting.

Panic attacks became a more frequent occurrence. When we are under the influence of the DMN, we ruminate. The hippocampus is in charge of memories and is an active part of the DMN. The medial prefrontal cortex, another part of the DMN, projects these memories into the future where the amygdala kicks in with more negative feelings. Anticipatory anxiety is the primary driver of GAD (generalized anxiety disorder). It’s like bleeding before you’re cut. Something like saying the wrong thing in a meeting and catching a funny look from a coworker can turn into scrutinizing the many times you were caught in similar embarrassing situations. What did you do to cause this? What’s wrong with you? This must be all your fault. If you don’t have a name for this, there’s no way to tame it. If you’re unaware of this, you will believe the grotesque and painful characterization of yourself. If you’re a creative person with an active imagination and a sharp intellect, you will shame spiral into anxiety and depression.

On my happiest days, I was hyperfocused on painting. I couldn’t choose when this would happen. I would sit in front of a canvas until it happened or didn’t happen. Most days it didn’t happen. This is a difficult reality for people who don’t have ADHD to understand. There are two different kinds of attention happening in our brain: automatic and directed. Automatic attention is something you can’t control, like noticing a car zipping by. Hyperfocus is a form of automatic attention that’s usually switched on by doing something we’re very interested in. You’ll stay in a state of hyperfocus until your mind is interrupted by something more engaging. Directed attention is something you exert effort to do, like paying attention in class. It requires your executive functioning skills which are mental processes you use to control and coordinate different behaviors. Examples of these EF skills include sustaining directed attention, self-motivating and resisting distraction. The problem with ADHD is not that you lack attention but that you struggle to control attention.

When properly managed, my hyperfocus became one of my greatest abilities. Not only did it make my life richer, but it made my employers richer. Look closely at any company’s creative team and you’ll find a good number of people with ADHD. The reason you don’t hear them talking about it is because stigma can be hard to get past. They want you to know they are super-smart, highly-motivated, and amazing problem solvers with great senses of humor. However, research says there is still a huge bias in the workplace against those with the disability. According to one study, employers are seven times more likely to recommend hiring an applicant with a physical disability over a mental disability. In the same study, it was also shown that some colleagues restricted opportunities for promotion and participated in forms of social exclusion and malicious gossip against colleagues with mental disability.

The truth is, there are many benefits that neurodivergent individuals can bring to an organization. ADHD allows us to think and process more in an hour than most people do in a day. ADHD-ers have had to cultivate patience and politeness for when their co-workers arrive at the same idea they had a day or a week ago. They are highly observant and enjoy solving problems that others may miss, making them incredible leaders. They tend to be quick learners and highly open to change. They are passionate and driven, but are often shot down or criticized if people don’t see the value in what they bring to the table.

Accommodations have been shown to have a profoundly positive effect on an ADHD-ers output. Empathy and flexibility are very low cost paths to high yield ends. Acceptance increases motivation, life satisfaction and joy while suppression or denial can push you into second guessing ideas and subsequently keeping them to yourself. It can lead to irritability, lower feelings of fulfillment, and withdrawing from interactions. Even though many people with ADHD know this, it can feel dangerous to disclose and many feel blocked from asking for life changing accommodations.

The transition to working from home, coupled with therapy and proper medication, transformed my life. It provided the space for sustained focus, reduced interruptions, and a level of control over my environment that was previously elusive. The freedom to manage my time and stimulation levels significantly improved both my professional output and personal fulfillment. I experience more sustained effort in the painting studio that doesn’t rely on hyperfocus. I’m still able to engage in the positive effects of hyperfocus, but I no longer feel a desperate reliance on it to engage with something I love.

The journey to diagnosis and treatment wasn't devoid of challenges. It involved overcoming barriers—financial, emotional, and societal—that often impede access to necessary support. Yet, post-diagnosis world has been a revelation—where panic attacks ceased to exist, time became more abundant, and life opened up to new possibilities.

All of this has made me recognize the importance of empathy and understanding in our collective wellbeing. It's within the fusion of unique talents and diverse perspectives—ones that might typically remain concealed—that true innovation thrives. Attempting to mold everyone into a uniform shape, trimming away unique facets to fit a standardized framework, leads to missed opportunities. It's in these unexplored and distinct pieces that uncharted potential and fresh perspectives reside. By encouraging individuals to embrace their authenticity, we unlock a wealth of untapped creativity.